Family Friday

I was going to start out with Fitness Friday, but since today is the day that it is, I decided that Family was more suiting.
Today, we will be attending the memorial service for our 16-year old nephew that passed away three weeks ago. I can't even wrap my mind around this. I don't know what to say about it really. 25 days ago, Ryan was a vibrant, healthy, athletic boy who was working on getting good grades so that he could get his driver's license. On a Wednesday morning he passed away at home in his bed, completely unexpectedly. Why???? How does a family move on after losing a child? I don't understand. I know that it happens everyday. People lose their loved ones and somehow find the strength to keep on living. They have to find a new kind of "normal" to walk out every day. The other kids need to have a mom and dad. They still need breakfast, lunch and dinner. They still have to get to school and sports and events. But, how does a mom make herself continue to do all of those things. I am guessing that you just have to do what has to be done even though your heart is not in it. I don't know. I am struggling with this. My heart is broken for Glenda and for Russ and for Kaitie and Sean. I don't know how you move on from here.
I know that the right and the true thing to say is that there is a reason for everything. God knows the big picture. We have to trust that there is a bigger purpose for this suffering. But that really doesn't make anything better. Not now anyway.
I didn't know Ryan very well. He is quite a bit older than my boys and we weren't around him very much. But, I have learned that he had a huge heart. He saw people for who they really were, not who they were percieved to be or who they portrayed themselves to be. He was a good friend to all around him. He was outgoing and funny. He welcomed new comers to his school. He had a gorgeous smile. That I did know. I also know that his sister and his mom adore him.
It hit me yesterday, while talking to Russ and Glenda that we should not wait until it is too late to share positive things that we see in each others' kids. So, when I notice a young person being kind or going above and beyond, I am going to share that with his or her parents. We all need to hear those things about our kids.
I want to know my kids. I want to know how they feel about things, what they think about things. What are they passionate about, what do they do only because it has to be done. That is my new goal.
I need to appreciate the kids that I have and the young men that they are growing to be. You really never know when you will hug them, or hear their voice for the last time. That is a painful thought. I want to make sure that I have no regrets (well, from here on out anyway, because I already have plenty!).
So, hug your kids, tell them how special they are to you. Make sure that you don't just think that they know that they are loved. Make sure that they actually feel loved!.