You're Putting That WHERE????????

If you remember, back in the summer of 2009 I had an Right Internal Carotid Artery Dissection. I had several MRIs and CT scans, both, with and without dye :). In the images of these most wonderful and EXPEN$IVE scans was found what may be an aneurysm in the anterior left of my very beautiful and packed-full brain.
My neurologist was not totally convinced that it was an angiogram so I was referred to a brilliant neurosurgeon back in 2010. Well, when I got to that appointment the discs containing the imaging results of the CT and MRIs was completely blank. Grrrrrr...... Sooooo..... Jeremy and I got to sit an listen to this neurosurgeon tell us how brilliant and experienced he is..... s.n.o.r.e.......... He assured me that when he did receive the imaging he would call and discuss it with me. So, I waited .....and waited ...............................and waited....... And he never called. (Sounds like an orthopedic sports medicine doctor that also never called when he said he would.)
Anyway, In December I was referred to another neurosurgeon who also was not convinced that what they saw on the imaging was an aneurysm. Soooo...... she scheduled me for a cerebral angiogram. I am very familiar with cardio angiograms, as several family members have had them. I was pretty excited to get a definitive answer and figure out where to go once we knew for sure one way or the other.
I was not at all nervous about the procedure.

My motto is "When it is my time to go, I will go; no matter where I am and what I am doing."

I knew that the procedure involved having a catheter put in my upper leg so that a scope could be inserting and that it would go up to my neck, they would insert dye and get images of the veins in my neck and head. This being the case I wanted to make sure that I was adequately depilator-ied. I used my VEET awesomeness to remove unwanted hair in the general area of my upper legs and shave the lower portions. I didn't concern myself with my feet, thinking that I would wear socks the whole time. (HA!)

My mom and I got to the hospital, checked in, waited, got taken back to the room, I got COMPLETELY undressed (anyone that knows me knows how much I detest being naked and exposed), then one of the nurses said that I would have to be shaved in my bikini area for the catheter to be put in.......WHAT??????..... my "bikini" area (hahahahahahah....as if I would EVER wear a bikini) is NOT part of my upper leg!!!!!!! I assured her that I had already taken care of the area, so of course she had to check. Ugh! She approved. She, then, TAKES OFF MY SOCKS!!! NOOOOOO...... I didn't take off the peeling polish and make my toes pretty....... 

Note to self: do not go to the hospital without all of the proper preparations, no matter what you are going in to have done.

Then the doctor comes in to explain the procedure---never mentioning that I would receive any kind of sedative-type medication. I would be fully awake and participating. Oh Yay!

One of the nurses did say that I would receive a dose of I-Don't-Care-What-You-Are-Doing-To-Me-I'm-In-My-Happy-Place-Type medication. Whew! (I never got any of that. Just some lidocaine to numb the area.)

p.s. The nurses that I dealt with yesterday had a 50% chance of being nice nurses. There are some Doosies at Providence Colby, let me tell ya!

Finally, a very nice nurse came to wheel my bed into the "Angio Suite", assuring me that everything would be great. Entering the sweet I was greeted with some nice 70's disco music playing and lots of plasma screens, which would later televise my vitals. I met a lovely man, named John, who would later get to know me a little better than most.

WHAT I DID NOT ANTICIPATE..........

Once I scooted onto the table, I was completely DISROBED.....Um........ WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME LIE ON A TABLE WITH A ONLY VERY NARROW BLANKET???? OH.... a narrow blanket over the top 1/3 of me and the bottom 1/3 of me with a very narrower strip of gauze over the middle 1/3 of me........I AM FEELING VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.... oh and now I need to peeeeeeeeeeee.......... I remembered that the doctor had said it would take about an hour. Can I hold it that long???? Oh no...... after that I have to lie flat for 4 hours........ What am I going to do????? I can't ask to go to the bathroom now...I'm on a table naked. Ok..... please please please don't do anything that makes me pee uncontrollably......now is a very good time to practice my kagles..... 

The procedure was a little uncomfortable at times....the putting in of the catheter....the bursts of dye that made my head feel like it was on fire...one section at a time. But, no big deal....especially once I presumed that it was safe to say that there were no clots being pushed up to my brain, causing a stroke. (this was one of the risks)

When it was all said and done....however..... my good friend John (previously mentioned) got the job of putting pressure on my GROIN AREA (guess what......that is my "bikini" are in disguise!!!!!) for 20 minutes after the angiogram was done. Yah! I am laying practically fully exposed on a table and a strange man in holding his hand in my yoohooo area for 20 minutes. a.w.e.s.o.m.e. Of course, he was very apologetic and friendly and professional about it. BUT STILL. I just wanted to be covered up and my back was killing me and my right knee really needed to be bent. 20 minutes later, after a very nice bonding time with John, I got my gown put back on me and covered with nice warm blankies and rolled back to my room. Ahhhhhhhhh................

Have I mentioned I was not allowed any food or liquid since midnight the night before? Oh and that I am clearly an addict of the drug caffeine????? Soooo.... the headache was hitting and the caffeine did not come quickly enough. But it did come, in the form of an iced latte with a straw that I had to drink lying flat with my head turned. Sweet Jeremy....Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

Headache was progressing, pee urgency was progressing. I had 4 hours to lie flat. What was I going to do???????? While Jeremy was out getting my coffee, my good friend and I think we may be dating now, John came back to check the "site" and detected an embolism forming, so he needed to put pressure on for a bit longer. Oh goodie! John (and his wife) is from San Diego, loves Mexican food. He is outdoorsy, likes to hike. He highly recommends visiting New Mexico, as it is very eclectic in the area of art, and has the BEST mexican food. He also has a lovely sense of humor and a love for the veins and functions of the brain. :) On a side note: When John checked on me, he noticed the very WEIRD and AWKWARD nurse so he took the initiative to check me and pressurize me to save me from her having to do it... Thank you, John!!!!! I really did appreciate that!

After lying on my back, flat, for 2 hours or so, I couldn't take it anymore. I DESPISE relying on other people. A bit of independent pridefulness, I suppose. BUT......I had to pee, my head was killing me and I was thirsty. NOT a good combination. I gave in to the use of the bed pan. What? did she just say bed pan???? Yes she did. Guess what????? I might as well have just said, hey...how about I just lie here and pee in this here bed and then you take the top layer of sheets off and let's hope that the in-between layer is, in fact, waterproof. Because that is basically what happened. And waterproof it was! Thank you nurse, I am sorry I can't remember your name, but you were really nice and funny and sarcastic and I liked you a lot! And you provided me with my first ever bed pan experience.

Water please.....from a straw from the side of my head. Thank you, Chelsea!!!!!!! Oops next time, please don't drip water down my face. :)

My headache just kept getting worse then the nausea hit. I really don't want to puke lying flat on my back, waiting for a nice healing clot to form on my artery in my groin area. Can I please get some med for it? Yes I can! Whew....... I love Phenergan!!!!!!!! Insert into IV......good night!!!!! Two solid hours of  drug-induced sleep. Thank you!

From then on, it was uneventful. I sat up, got in a chair for a bit, got dressed, walked to (and used) the bathroom and back and got wheeled out to my car. 

The moral of the story. Anytime you have ANY procedure scheduled...... get rid of as much hair as possible.......make sure your toes are polished........sneak a little nip of coffee as early in the morning as possible to avoid the caffeine headache that is inevitable.   Maybe it is time to wean myself off of it.

(Oh...and... I do have a very small 1.9mm aneurysm. I will have another CT scan in a year.)

Thank you so much, mommy for taking care of me and being here for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!