Twas the Night Before the New School Year

As much as I love my job, I am not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Once this school year starts, I have my full-time job, graduate school classes, my internship, my family and you know... my Kindle... So much to do, so little time to do it because losing sleep is not an option, nor is giving up reading time. My Kindle is an attachment. The only reason my phone would take 1st place in my technology life is because it has the Kindle App. If not, my Kindle would be my #1.
My oldest son is starting college next month. WHAT???? My youngest is starting his Junior year in high school. What a crazy year ahead of us.
I just finished Colleen Hoover's book, It Ends With Us, and I'm feeling out of sorts. Feeling out of sorts because of a FICTIONAL story is ridiculous. I know this. So let's recap...
I start back to work tomorrow
I have graduate school classes
I have a graduate school internship
My oldest is going to College
My youngest is a junior
I am ridiculously affected by fictional novels
.................................
Yah. I need to get a grip on reality. FOCUS, Shanna!!!!!
I've got this. I love my job. I am good at my job. I am excited to see my coworkers. I love the students, for the most part. My graduate program will be OVER in June. I will have a Master's Degree in Education, School Counseling. I am going to be an AMAZING school counselor. My boys will do great in school and life. I love my husband and he loves me. I have totally got this!!!!! Bring it 2016-17 School year!!!!!

Mmmmmmm.. Monday..........

This is THE BEST Tortilla Soup!!!!! I have ordered Tortilla Soup from several restaurants, just to test it out. I have not found any better!!!! I LOVE it!!!!!!! (Oh, and it is from Jennifer James-Rachi...whom you have previously read about. I love her to... If you would like to check out her blogspot, here it is: http://romeojen3girls.blogspot.com/. And her cupcake blog: http://gottalovethecupcakes.blogspot.com/

Crock Pot Tortilla Soup

4 chicken breast halves
1 garlic clove, minced
2 Tbsp. margarine
2-14 1/2 cans chicken broth
2-14 1/2 cans chopped stewed tomatoes
1 cup salsa (which ever you prefer)
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1 Tbsp (or more) ground cumin

8-oz Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
sour cream
tortilla chips

1. boil, debone, and shred chicken ( I tend to shred in large pieces)
2. add minced garlic to margarine in hot slow cooker. Saute
3. Combine all ingredients except cheese, sour cream, and chips.
4. Cover. Cook on Low 8-10 hours
5. Put shredded cheese in bowl and cover with soup. Sprinkle with chips and a dollop of sour cream.

Enjoy!!! I wish that I had the time and all of the ingredients to put it in the crockpot right now!!!!!!

Family Friday

I was going to start out with Fitness Friday, but since today is the day that it is, I decided that Family was more suiting.
Today, we will be attending the memorial service for our 16-year old nephew that passed away three weeks ago. I can't even wrap my mind around this. I don't know what to say about it really. 25 days ago, Ryan was a vibrant, healthy, athletic boy who was working on getting good grades so that he could get his driver's license. On a Wednesday morning he passed away at home in his bed, completely unexpectedly. Why???? How does a family move on after losing a child? I don't understand. I know that it happens everyday. People lose their loved ones and somehow find the strength to keep on living. They have to find a new kind of "normal" to walk out every day. The other kids need to have a mom and dad. They still need breakfast, lunch and dinner. They still have to get to school and sports and events. But, how does a mom make herself continue to do all of those things. I am guessing that you just have to do what has to be done even though your heart is not in it. I don't know. I am struggling with this. My heart is broken for Glenda and for Russ and for Kaitie and Sean. I don't know how you move on from here.
I know that the right and the true thing to say is that there is a reason for everything. God knows the big picture. We have to trust that there is a bigger purpose for this suffering. But that really doesn't make anything better. Not now anyway.
I didn't know Ryan very well. He is quite a bit older than my boys and we weren't around him very much. But, I have learned that he had a huge heart. He saw people for who they really were, not who they were percieved to be or who they portrayed themselves to be. He was a good friend to all around him. He was outgoing and funny. He welcomed new comers to his school. He had a gorgeous smile. That I did know. I also know that his sister and his mom adore him.
It hit me yesterday, while talking to Russ and Glenda that we should not wait until it is too late to share positive things that we see in each others' kids. So, when I notice a young person being kind or going above and beyond, I am going to share that with his or her parents. We all need to hear those things about our kids.
I want to know my kids. I want to know how they feel about things, what they think about things. What are they passionate about, what do they do only because it has to be done. That is my new goal.
I need to appreciate the kids that I have and the young men that they are growing to be. You really never know when you will hug them, or hear their voice for the last time. That is a painful thought. I want to make sure that I have no regrets (well, from here on out anyway, because I already have plenty!).
So, hug your kids, tell them how special they are to you. Make sure that you don't just think that they know that they are loved. Make sure that they actually feel loved!.

A Good Day

Today started for me at 7:30ish am. I had my day all planned out.

• Get the kids up and off to school
• Clean up the kitchen
• Go to the gym
• Meet a friend for coffee
• Clean up my house
• Change the sheets on the guest bed
• Pack up my scrapbooking stuff
• Pack an overnight bag
• Have a snack ready for my kids upon their return from school
• Chill out
• Go to Benjamin's basketball game
• Head out to a friend's house for an overnight scrapbook party.

And do you know what? My day went just as planned. How often does that happen? Not often in this girl's world. This week I got back on track in regards to my eating and exercise. I have been feeling so much better. Being out of control in any aspect of my life is very stressful to me. I love getting my eating and exercise habits back in line with my goals of weight loss and health.

My boys got up out of bed easily and got ready for school, with no whining, no complaining, no arguing, no irritation to me or them. I went to a new class at the gym today and it was awesome. It isn't Zumba, but it will do. I met a friend, who I do not know all that well (but really want to get better acquainted with), for coffee and we spent 2 hours just chatting and sharing with one another about our lives, struggles and passions. I went home and got done what I wanted to have done, including making chocolate chip pancakes from scratch for my boys' afternoon snack. And I spent too much time on facebook, as usual! I spent my afternoon being very thankful for all of the blessings in my life. I love my husband, who is very loving and supportive, and my children. My parents are wonderful. My sister is also my very best friend in all of the world. All of my neices and nephews are beautiful and healthy. All of my in-laws are kind, loving people. I have a brother that I love, even though I just met him. His wife is already a wonderful friend and sister to me. My kids have 2 more cousins to get to know. Each person in my extended family has been a blessing to me in one way or another at one time or another. So many of my wonderful friends are more like family to me. When I need to talk there are several people that I can call in times of pain and trouble as well as times of rejoicing and celebration.

There are not enough words than can express all of the blessings in my life. And my heart has just been full all day (except when I had a huge lapse in judgement and ran my mouth, very inappropriately and got called on it and realized that I totally blew it with people that I should be an example to. I will ask for their forgiveness. And my Redeemer has already forgiven me and taught me a valuable lesson.) It could be that there are super endorphines running through my blood because of the 3 Zumba classes and 2 other fitness classes that I made it to this week. It could be the Venti Non-Fat Extra-Hot Latte that I drank while chatting with Riva. Or (and I think this is the real reason) I am just truly blessed by the God of the universe, the giver of all good gifts, my Abba Father, who created me to be uniquely me and who loves me with an unconditional, everlasting love.

Not More Than I Could Imagine!

Ephesians 3:20-22 (The Message)
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!

I have read this verse over and over throughout the years. I will be completely honest. I have always doubted it! "God can do more than I can think, or imagine, or request? I don't know..."

Now don't get me wrong. I absolutely believe that the Bible is God's Word. It is infallible. It is Truth. I believe that God is Sovereign, Love, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient....Alpha, Omega, Creator, Healer....all the thing that the Bible tells me.

But, more than I can ask, dream, hope for, imagine? I have pretty big dreams. I hope for some gargantuan things! I ask for A LOT!!!! My imagination is very vivid and colossal! More than that? I have never truly believed it. It pains me to state that in writing, but it's true!

I have a wonderful family. My sister is my absolute best friend in the entire universe and I am hers. I love my parents with all my heart. I know that they are always there for me. I know that I can always go to them, and they will receive me with love. I have been blessed beyond words. I have a tremendously loving and supportive husband, beautiful children, and the best of friendships. My church family is extensive. I have never wanted for anything, well, necessity-wise anyway!

I am not saying that I am Pollyanna, or that wherever I go the birds and squirrels follow me around and sing with me! I have my issues. My childhood was pretty crazy and there are some deep scars. But for the most part, life is good.

However, there has always been this mystery in my life. When I was 13, I found out that I had a "biological father" out there somewhere. Then I learn that there are "biological siblings" out there somewhere. WHAT??? Questions were constantly on my mind. Curiosity. Wondering. Imagining. Confusion. Always asking why? Who are they? Where are they? What are they like? Do they know about me? Do they think about me? Do they look for me? Could that be him in the basketball stands? That boy looks a little like me...is he my brother? Always in my mind. Sometimes in the middle or toward the back. But mainly right up front and center.

For over 20 years!!!!!

So, along comes the chance to meet one of these "biological siblings". I have always tried to keep everything, in this area, very sterile in my mind. What do I expect? Nothing. What do I dream will happen? No clue. What do I ask? Just let me get through it.

As soon as I met my brother, I knew that it was right. Connection. Similarities. We have a lot of the same likes and dislikes. Not all the same. But a lot. We have a lot of little things in common, that individually are no big deal. But cumulatively, are crazy!!! We have chatted online, emailed, talked on the phone. Getting to know each other. It fits.

I had no expectation. I asked for practically nothing. I had no dream, except to have my curiosity settled once and for all. But, it hit me this morning after doing my Bible study. This verse was not in the study, but God spoke it right into my heart and life, and now I believe that God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!

My Brother

The think that I am MOST thankful for this Thanksgiving, even if it is 2 days after the actual holiday, is meeting my brother for the first time EVER!!!!! It was crazy and scarey and stressful and anxiety-ridden....but mostly is was AMAZING!!!! We have so much in common. Our families have a ton in common. It was incredible. I am only sad that they live in Alaska and I don't know when I will get to see them again and introduce them to my family. I have thought about this day since I was 13 and found out that I had a brother (actually 3). He is great, his wife is so nice and his kids are adorable and friendly and funny!!!!

When I started the process of getting to meet him I kept saying that I wasn't looking for anything; I didn't have any expectations; I just wanted my curiosity satisfied. But, I think I found a brother and a new friend. I really hope so. Now that I have met them, I want more. I want to get to know them and spend time with them and I want to be a part of their lives and I want them to be a part of my life. I sit here with so much emotion that I cannot even describe it. I feel like puzzle pieces are coming together, I feel connected....I don't know exactly how I feel.















I thought that I could just meet him, put it behind me and move on with life. But I feel like everything has changed. My life will go on as normal. My daily routine will be unaltered. But, I have a brother. And that changes everything.