Today

I had the craziest day ever!
A day that started out like any other.
Just a Saturday.
Got online before going to the gym, just to check in with the world.
What I found there changed my day.
I planned to work out and then hang out at home. Maybe watch a movie. Maybe blog. Maybe read my book club book. Clean up a little. Do some laundry. Just a day.
But that all changed.
I made a phone call, then another (with a few in between).
Craziness!!!
I showered and readied and headed out, for my change in plans.
Freaking out the whole way.
Wondering what on earth I was doing.
Am I crazy?
What am I hoping for?
Why am I doing this?
Where will it lead?
Do I want it to lead anywhere?
Should I turn around and go back home?
Why did I ever start this ball rolling?
Is this what you want, God?
Is this the right time?
Lead me, direct me, guide me, help me.
I am so excited and scared and anxiety-ridden, and even hopeful (I didn't want to admit that part.).
What will it be like?
Will it be awkward?
Uncomfortable?
How do I act?
What do I say?
Another couple of phone calls. I need to talk to keep my mind occupied.
I am ....I don't even know.
Then I get there.
It was weird.
It was awkward, but not like I thought.
It almost felt comfortable.
It definitely felt right.
It fit.
I was supposed to do this.
I am supposed to be here.
Thank You, Lord, for this opportunity.
Thank You for this open door.
Please don't let me blow it.
I didn't want it to end.
But end, it must.
Until next time.
But then it will be different.
Only excitement!
So now.
I am processing.
I had no intentions of connection, but it happened.
I thought I would be able to just put it behind me and move on, but I can't.
Wondering.
Where will this lead?
Reflecting.
It was really great.
Peaceful, yet wanting more, needing more, hoping for more.
Yet,
Abundantly thankful.
It was more than worth all of the worry and anguish and stress!!!!!

My Brother

The think that I am MOST thankful for this Thanksgiving, even if it is 2 days after the actual holiday, is meeting my brother for the first time EVER!!!!! It was crazy and scarey and stressful and anxiety-ridden....but mostly is was AMAZING!!!! We have so much in common. Our families have a ton in common. It was incredible. I am only sad that they live in Alaska and I don't know when I will get to see them again and introduce them to my family. I have thought about this day since I was 13 and found out that I had a brother (actually 3). He is great, his wife is so nice and his kids are adorable and friendly and funny!!!!

When I started the process of getting to meet him I kept saying that I wasn't looking for anything; I didn't have any expectations; I just wanted my curiosity satisfied. But, I think I found a brother and a new friend. I really hope so. Now that I have met them, I want more. I want to get to know them and spend time with them and I want to be a part of their lives and I want them to be a part of my life. I sit here with so much emotion that I cannot even describe it. I feel like puzzle pieces are coming together, I feel connected....I don't know exactly how I feel.















I thought that I could just meet him, put it behind me and move on with life. But I feel like everything has changed. My life will go on as normal. My daily routine will be unaltered. But, I have a brother. And that changes everything.

Isn't It Just Like GOD!!!

Well, to start off, I have been doing this six-week Bible study on my own, for about 2 1/2 months now. I was being very diligent about doing it every day for a while and then I would get lazy and not get up in the morning for my devotion time. Then I would be really good for a week or two and then not so much! Yesterday, I began week six. I should have been done a month or so ago! This morning was day 2 of week 6. The study is about hearing God's voice and being obedient.

Anyway......

Last night, Benjamin and I went to Safeway to pick up a few things. While shopping he asked me if I knew when Jesus turned water into wine. And, I told him that I did...it was the first miracle that Jesus performed and it was at a wedding. Then Benjamin added a few details, like "Yah, he had the guys fill up the barrels with water and then he went 'Phssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' (with hand pointed toward the barrels) and turned the water into wine!!!!" And, of course I corrected him (like the party pooper that I am) and told him that Jesus can just think it and it will happen. No sound effects are necessary. No fun am I!!!!

So, I thought that was cool that we had a little talk about Jesus at Safeway, completely brought up by my 8-year old.

THEN............this morning, in my study, I was directed to what story in ALL of the Bible?????

Come on, take a guess!!!!!!!

Yep!

John 2

From Water to Wine 1-3 Three days later there was a wedding in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there. Jesus and his disciples were guests also. When they started running low on wine at the wedding banquet, Jesus' mother told him, "They're just about out of wine."
4Jesus said, "Is that any of our business, Mother—yours or mine? This isn't my time. Don't push me."
5She went ahead anyway, telling the servants, "Whatever he tells you, do it."
6-7Six stoneware water pots were there, used by the Jews for ritual washings. Each held twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus ordered the servants, "Fill the pots with water." And they filled them to the brim.
8"Now fill your pitchers and take them to the host," Jesus said, and they did.
9-10When the host tasted the water that had become wine (he didn't know what had just happened but the servants, of course, knew), he called out to the bridegroom, "Everybody I know begins with their finest wines and after the guests have had their fill brings in the cheap stuff. But you've saved the best till now!"
11This act in Cana of Galilee was the first sign Jesus gave, the first glimpse of his glory. And his disciples believed in him.

This happens so often in my life. Some say that they are coincidences, but I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that God is the orchestrator of all things! I believe that he uses these types of occurrences to encourage us, confirm in us a point He is trying make, reiterate information that we already know to be true, to challenge us to look deeper, and to just make us smile and say "God, you are so funny!!!" Because when this happens to me, that is one of my first responses. God cares about everything. Even my conversation in Safeway with my youngest son! How crazy is that?

AND...this passage is an amazing lesson in obedience. The servants were told by Jesus to fill up the barrels with water. They put the water in there and they knew that it was only water. Then Jesus told them to take a cup of the water to the head of the wedding party. Water...not wine. They risked being yelled at, ridiculed, fired, possibly spit on when the head of the party tasted the water. They took a huge chance. They didn't know Jesus from Moses! He hadn't performed any miracles yet! But, they obeyed. They got to be part of the first miracle that Jesus performed! This was his "coming out"! And the servants were first hand participatory witnesses! What a huge blessing!

God, please help me to keep my eyes on you and obey you in all that you ask of me, so that I am pleasing to you!!!!