Truth Tuesday....Being a Mom

Having kids is…….so many things….
My friend, Rebecca and I often joke that if someone had told us how stressful having kids would be, we would have just chosen to have dogs instead. But, nobody informed us. We also know that if we didn’t have kids, we would be yearning to do so.

Like any mom, when I gave birth to my first son, I was overwhelmed with the love that I felt. I did not know that this level of love even existed. It hadn’t yet, in me. Having a child really is like having your heart walk around on its own. It is an indescribable love. You cannot know it, unless you are a mother. I believe that a mother having a child by adoption feels the same love.

So, when your child is a baby (if they are healthy) it is the most wonderful time. Getting to know this new little person that you just met, but love more than anyone else. If they have medical problems and as the healthy ones grow, it gets scary. What if something happens to them? What if this child is taken from you? What would you do? How would you survive having had this love and lost?

A mother’s love is scary and yet wonderful and beautiful and empowering. Crazy!

My kids make me insane! If you know me at all, this is no surprise. I like to be in control. I like to know exactly what is going to happen. What the outcome will be. Having kids does not fit my picture-perfect fantasy. What if they turn their backs on Christ? What if they choose a lifestyle that I don’t approve of? What if they make really horrible choices? What if they decide that they hate me and never want to see me again after they graduate? Ugh!!!! Any of those things would devastate me.
Although, none of those things would make me love my child any less. It would hurt. I have watched this happen to mothers that I love. It hurts.
I don’t know. I think that I may have preferred to be ignorant of this level of love. That would have been much safer.
I am praying that my kids will grow to be adults that love God and want to walk in His will and plan for their lives. Will they fail? Of course. I do all the time.
But, I know that as much as I love my kids, my God loves them and me, even more. That is a love that I cannot comprehend.
I am guessing that in the end, the good times will outweigh the bad. And maybe I will not remember all of the bad as my boys grow up. My heart’s desire is to have a deep and personal and real relationship with them as they grow and as they go out into the world to make their way. That would make my heart happy.
And in the end…it will all be worth it. Sometimes God gives me little glimpses that makes me think that it is.