Thoughtful Thursday....Intentions

As I took Rally for his early morning walk, I asked myself, 'Self...what have you been thinking about this week?" And while I haven't been thinking about it all week, last night at church got me thinking about intentions....
I have been attending the Love & Respect class on Wednesday nights. I read this book years ago. I hated it. I still hate it. It asks us to do things that do not come naturally to us. I get that it is for our greater good, but I hate it.
BUT...I know that it is all true, and it is really good stuff.
Anyway.......the foundation of the class is:

Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Husbands are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. Not as easy as it sounds! But it is mandated by God.

Another big idea that is taught in the class is to give one another the benefit of the doubt. Don't assume that your spouse means what you think they mean. When your spouse says something to you that you find offensive or hurtful, give them the benefit of the doubt that they did not mean for their words to be taken in the way that you receive them.  Hard work!!!!!

Let's face it...most arguments/disagreements/deep discussions/divorce? are caused due to misunderstanding. Communication is not the key...understanding is! We can talk and communicate until we are blue in the face, but if we do not understand one another, it is useless.(just a note: I suck at this! I am writing this for myself. I am probably the only one reading this that needs to hear it.

So, how do we do this? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe, we could purpose to not react to one another's words until we are clear on what is being said and why.

Here is my example that I shared in class last night
(I don't usually like to share in class, but as I was sitting there and different people were speaking, it sounded to me like they all have perfect marriages and don't need to be in a marriage class. So I wanted to speak for those of us that do struggle.)

When I feel that Jeremy is being too hard on one of the boys, I usually give him a "look" that is meant for only him to see.

My intention in this "look" is for Jeremy to step back and think about what he is doing and hopefully, back off realizing that he is going overboard. The heart behind that intention is that I want Jeremy and his sons to develop and grow a rich, meaningful, lasting relationship. When I see one of the boys shut down and internalize his anger, I see that relationship being torn down rather than built up. I also know that when you get caught up into the cyle of the battle-of-the wills, it is hard to draw yourself out without some external interruption.

When Jeremy sees my "look" he reacts as though I have completely undermined who he is as a parent. From what I am learning, I assume that he feels disrespected. And he reacts accordingly. Which usually ends up with us not talking for a period of time.

So, I need to find a way to let my heart and intentions be known and, in this case, Jeremy needs to not assume that I am undermining his authority.
Am I wrong? Are we the only ones?

Truth Tuesday....Being a Mom

Having kids is…….so many things….
My friend, Rebecca and I often joke that if someone had told us how stressful having kids would be, we would have just chosen to have dogs instead. But, nobody informed us. We also know that if we didn’t have kids, we would be yearning to do so.

Like any mom, when I gave birth to my first son, I was overwhelmed with the love that I felt. I did not know that this level of love even existed. It hadn’t yet, in me. Having a child really is like having your heart walk around on its own. It is an indescribable love. You cannot know it, unless you are a mother. I believe that a mother having a child by adoption feels the same love.

So, when your child is a baby (if they are healthy) it is the most wonderful time. Getting to know this new little person that you just met, but love more than anyone else. If they have medical problems and as the healthy ones grow, it gets scary. What if something happens to them? What if this child is taken from you? What would you do? How would you survive having had this love and lost?

A mother’s love is scary and yet wonderful and beautiful and empowering. Crazy!

My kids make me insane! If you know me at all, this is no surprise. I like to be in control. I like to know exactly what is going to happen. What the outcome will be. Having kids does not fit my picture-perfect fantasy. What if they turn their backs on Christ? What if they choose a lifestyle that I don’t approve of? What if they make really horrible choices? What if they decide that they hate me and never want to see me again after they graduate? Ugh!!!! Any of those things would devastate me.
Although, none of those things would make me love my child any less. It would hurt. I have watched this happen to mothers that I love. It hurts.
I don’t know. I think that I may have preferred to be ignorant of this level of love. That would have been much safer.
I am praying that my kids will grow to be adults that love God and want to walk in His will and plan for their lives. Will they fail? Of course. I do all the time.
But, I know that as much as I love my kids, my God loves them and me, even more. That is a love that I cannot comprehend.
I am guessing that in the end, the good times will outweigh the bad. And maybe I will not remember all of the bad as my boys grow up. My heart’s desire is to have a deep and personal and real relationship with them as they grow and as they go out into the world to make their way. That would make my heart happy.
And in the end…it will all be worth it. Sometimes God gives me little glimpses that makes me think that it is.

Mmmmmmm.. Monday..........

Artisan Bread

What you need:
6+ Cups Flour
1.5 TBP Kosher Salt
1.5 TBP Dry Active Yeast
Corn Meal
3 Cups Water
Cookie Sheet (I use my Pampered Chef Pizza Stone)
Heat Oven to 450 for 30 minutes.

In a large bowl, combine the Yeast and Salt. Pour 3 Cups almost hot water and mix well. Add 6 Cups Flour. Mix well. If the dough is not wet and sticky, add a little more water.

Cover large bowl with a clean dish towel. Let sit for 2 hours.
On baking sheet, sprinkle Corn Meal.
Take out enough dough to make a loaf of bread (this recipe makes 3 loaves.). Form into loaf and place on corn meal cookie sheet.

I usually make a couple of cuts on the top of the loaf, with kitchen scissors and try to make a lattice-type top.
Sprinkle with flour.
Let sit for 40 minutes.
In another oven-safe dish, put some water and put in oven on bottom rack.
Place bread in oven and turn oven down to 375.
Bake for about 35 minutes, or until it is the golden brown that you want it.

Let cool for 15 minutes or so. Cut, butter and serve.

Note:

My family likes it when I make pizza bread with this recipe.
For this, I cut the loaf of bread lengthwise and add pizza sauce, cheese and toppings and place back in oven until the cheese is fully melted.

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!