Ponderings…

Wow.. It's been a long while since I have been here. Well, let's get right into it.

Last month a very good friend introduced me to the book Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. I was like, sure… whatever… I’ll read it. OH. MY. WORD. I could not have imagined the internal change reading this book would invoke. Since reading the book (I actually took a break from the book to investigate things mentioned in the

book.) I have experienced something akin to an awakening. That sounds so incredibly corny, but I can’t think of a better word. Rachel’s book is great! Each of 20 chapter starts out with a lie that Rachel has told herself and how she combatted that lie and changed her thoughts and actions. The majority of it definitely resonated with me. While the book was AMAZING… the bigger affect the book had on me was through my explorations of some of the things mentioned in the book.

Here are some:

Body Love by Kelly Leveque--- GAME! CHANGER! My mom and I listened to this audiobook on a road trip and I couldn’t wait to get home and order it. It explains eating in a scientific, understandable way that MAKES SENSE! The day after I got home from our trip I put this information to use and have lost 8.2 pounds (in two weeks) and I feel great- energy wise- I still have a LOT of pounds to go.

Podcasts-- I used to listen to podcasts all the time. My favorite was New Life Live with Stephen Arterburn. I would listen in the car and when I worked out. New podcasts that I have discovered as a direct result of “meeting” Rachel Hollis are:

Rise Podcast by Rachel Hollis.. Basically about living your best life

Rise Together Podcast by Rachel and Dave Hollis.. Relationship advice from the Hollis’s. It is great! Full of fun and practical, tactical ideas for relationships.

Trailercast by Elyse Snipes.. Basically therapy information from a vintage trailer. Super Great!

Tony Robbins by….. Tony Robbins.. All kinds of great personal-growth information from all kinds of knowledgeable people.

Goal Digger by Jenna Kutcher.. Great information on redefining success and chasing dreams.

The Skinny Confidential Him & Her by Lauryn Evarts & Michael Bosstick… Lot’s of information about a lot of things pertaining to men and women. Most have an “Explicit” notation for language mostly.

And podcasts that I have discovered as an indirect result of “meeting” Rachel Hollis:

The Minimalists.. Living the minimalist life. It is so great and inspirational and I want to be a minimalist so bad. I hope that it motivates me to action!

Ted Talks Daily.. Ted Talks. You know. People that know things, talking about those things.

And my podcast subscription list seem to be growing daily.

So what do I and/or am I going to do with all of this information and sense of awakening? Well… I am not quite sure yet. I am starting out with developing some goals and I want to be very deliberate about putting a plan in place to work and achieve these goals. After listening to Brooke Castillo’s podcast, I am going to #BelieveHard that I am able to achieve what I set out to do. According to Rachel Hollis #HopeIsNotaStrategy so it’s going to take planning and hard work to get what I want more, rather than what I want right now!

To Be Continued...

Thoughtful Thursday....Intentions

As I took Rally for his early morning walk, I asked myself, 'Self...what have you been thinking about this week?" And while I haven't been thinking about it all week, last night at church got me thinking about intentions....
I have been attending the Love & Respect class on Wednesday nights. I read this book years ago. I hated it. I still hate it. It asks us to do things that do not come naturally to us. I get that it is for our greater good, but I hate it.
BUT...I know that it is all true, and it is really good stuff.
Anyway.......the foundation of the class is:

Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Husbands are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. Not as easy as it sounds! But it is mandated by God.

Another big idea that is taught in the class is to give one another the benefit of the doubt. Don't assume that your spouse means what you think they mean. When your spouse says something to you that you find offensive or hurtful, give them the benefit of the doubt that they did not mean for their words to be taken in the way that you receive them.  Hard work!!!!!

Let's face it...most arguments/disagreements/deep discussions/divorce? are caused due to misunderstanding. Communication is not the key...understanding is! We can talk and communicate until we are blue in the face, but if we do not understand one another, it is useless.(just a note: I suck at this! I am writing this for myself. I am probably the only one reading this that needs to hear it.

So, how do we do this? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe, we could purpose to not react to one another's words until we are clear on what is being said and why.

Here is my example that I shared in class last night
(I don't usually like to share in class, but as I was sitting there and different people were speaking, it sounded to me like they all have perfect marriages and don't need to be in a marriage class. So I wanted to speak for those of us that do struggle.)

When I feel that Jeremy is being too hard on one of the boys, I usually give him a "look" that is meant for only him to see.

My intention in this "look" is for Jeremy to step back and think about what he is doing and hopefully, back off realizing that he is going overboard. The heart behind that intention is that I want Jeremy and his sons to develop and grow a rich, meaningful, lasting relationship. When I see one of the boys shut down and internalize his anger, I see that relationship being torn down rather than built up. I also know that when you get caught up into the cyle of the battle-of-the wills, it is hard to draw yourself out without some external interruption.

When Jeremy sees my "look" he reacts as though I have completely undermined who he is as a parent. From what I am learning, I assume that he feels disrespected. And he reacts accordingly. Which usually ends up with us not talking for a period of time.

So, I need to find a way to let my heart and intentions be known and, in this case, Jeremy needs to not assume that I am undermining his authority.
Am I wrong? Are we the only ones?